Adventures in Bathroom Sex: Why Senator Larry Craig Should NOT Resign

Long awaited, but still fresh...

The Run Down (the ass..)

An anti-gay senator who gets axed for getting ass should be a time for celebration. But since I don’t like to jump the gun (i.e. “shit first, ask questions later”) I at least went through the Washington Blade article on the subject before clarifying my thoughts. All while reading it, I thought to myself, “this is a pro-gay paper, think of bias”.

In the end, the selling point was the same that hit everyone else: innocent people, especially innocent Senators, don’t plead guilty.

Toilet Tap-Dance

While the guilty plea was not news to me, the mating dance most certainly was. I confess, I’m totally unfamiliar in the courtship rituals of the native bathroom fucker.

But apparently Sargeant Dave Karsnia, who busted Craig, went to shithouse charm school. His report details the whole choreography:

“At 1218 hours, Craig tapped his right foot...I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot close to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly...The presence of others [in the restroom] didn’t seem to deter Carig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot, which was within my stall area...

“I saw Craig swipe his hand under the stall divider for a few seconds”

Washington Blade: ‘Karsina reported that Craig moved his hands along the stall divider two more times, with his fingertips extended into the officer’s stall. At that point Karsina displayed his police identification to Craig by lowering it to the floor so Craig could see it and singled Craig to leave the stall’

Whew! Talk about an exercise in one-handed typing! Hope I didn’t trip up the details.

The judge demanded 500 bucks, 10 days in jail, and one year propation.

Alright, enough shitsteps – on to the Harranalysis!!!

My First Attempt at Integrity

Larry Craig should not have to resign for this.

“Whhaaaaa?!? Harry...?”

Basically, my opinion lies along the lines of Congressman Barney Frank: “What he did, it’s hypocritical, but it’s not an abuse of his office in the sense that he was taking money for corrupt votes...It’s one thing to say someone can’t be trusted to vote without being corrupt. It’s another thing to say that he can’t be trusted to go to the bathroom by himself.”

I’m not sure what the standard punishment is, or whether Craig got that, but does it require the offender to lose his job forever and ever?

Larry Craig and I are enemies over every single gay issue. No surprise from an office holding Republican. Every piece I’ve read shares the view that hypocracy is intrinsic to all this, as he was a rabid anti-gay Senator. Perhaps he projected his self-fear onto the entire span of gay America.

On Closeted Behavior

And that’s another aspect of all this. What’s Craig’s internal struggle? Only one pro-gay author believed Craig’s denial of being gay. This author is H. Alexander Robinson, CEO of the National Black Justice Coalition, which fights for black gay and same-gender loving people. His article, “Understanding Craig’s Identity” in the Washington Blade, is actually a positive reminder of the fluid nature of sexual oriention and the natural “incongruity” between identity, behavior, and orientation. I don’t know if it’s sufficient reasonable doubt to make Craig a straight man, but I think that his internal struggle with his sexuality is just that – internal, as in private. The only part we should care about is the hypocracy of a gay-bashing lawmaker seeking gay sex (whether or not it matches his true orientation).

But that seems a minority opinion, as far as my limited research says. In the Blade article, they quote a psychologist, Kristina Oseth, who talks about the manifestations of “internalized homophobia”. She says:

“If someone is not ready or capable to come face to face with the idea that they may be gay, they will go to great lengths to hide it. Sometimes they risk going to a less appropriate place.” (As opposed to a social club, or GLBT community center)

But could all this speculation result from an Anglo-Sexon bias? The Washington Hispanic had the headline:

“ ‘No soy gay”, afirma senador Craig”

See? Caso concluido.

Log Cabin Republicans

Log Cabin Republicans are the nation’s pro-gay Republicans.

Anyway LCR says: “What Senator Craig did was illegal and inappropriate. While his anti-gay record makes hypocracy a valid part of this story, Log Cabin would find his behavior just as innappropriate if he were a pro-gay Senator. Senator Craig’s denials lack credibility, and unless he can explain better, he should resign.”

Since Craig’s decision to resign, Log Cabin said “He lost his credibility to serve the people of Idaho and his actions damaged the credibility of the Republican Party. Senator Craig had no other choice but to resign—for the good of his State, the good of his Party, and the good of his family.”

Obviously I don’t agree with "non-choice" to resign, and I’m a Democrat!

I’m guessing their uneasy about his reconsideration. I guess I’m just happy Craig’s thinking with his brain instead of his rectum.

Final Thoughts

Between athletes that torture dogs and politicians that hate gays but love them down low, it’s perhaps time to retire the idea that public figures are going to be role models for personal behavior. That’s not their job. Politicians need to make good laws. Athletes have to hussle on the field. Anything else we dream of adding is setting ourselves up for disappointment. And the media will cover it.

Boy, will they ever...